Transportation

My neighbors are moving and apparently using our front door as a loading doc. I didn't realize this, so when I heard a rubbing/pushing/banging-ish knock at the door, I figured it was some sort of special-ed group or down syndrome league like, "Down But Not Out" or " 'Wheeling' to Survive" attempting to 'knock' at my door to sell candy bars or fancy cheeses. So I got up to look out the peep hole, but surprisingly did NOT see a group of ... what's the politically correct term... ahh yes; retardos. Instead I saw a large, dark obstruction of some sort.
For some reason I JUMPed out of the doorway, and ducked, as if the Transporter were just about to Johnny Cage my door down. I don't even know why I was ducking... I had already moved out of the way and there was nothing over my head! I gained my senses and looked out a side window and saw that it was the neighbor's bed propped up against the door. Which was gross to me.
I guess my point is, the Transporter was such a horrible movie we had to turn it off after 30 minutes or so.