Projectile

It's so painful for me to go back and read previous blogs I've written. At the time I wrote it I thought it was clever, but after reading it later on it just sounds like I'm either slightly illiterate or have Asperger's. Once I've thrown it up out of my head... it is no longer appetising. One time I heard someone say that when you die, your "spirit" would "no more want to be back in your earthly body, than you would look longingly at your own vomit." All I have to say to that is; that would depend on what you had last eaten.

Chola ha ha

Just read the funniest definition ever. Located in the Urban Dictionary online:


7. chola :

a greasy spic ho that carries razors in her mouth and crabs on her hoohaa. Cholas have no conscience and will kill you for a dollar. usually violent and fat - always ugly

ex. "That burrito in the toilet smells like a chola."

fat greasy nasty ugly ho

Pulpage

2night I drank a bottle of wine... that's not that bad considering I only payed $1.97 at Walmart for it, so it was totally weak. Good though. 'Course, I won't know for sure until tomorrow. I need a job. I don't know how to find one though. I also have some sort of insomnia, which doesn't work well with seeking employment. For instance, tonight I had a plan to go to sleep around 10/11pm, but instead I ate until midnight, then put on our copy of Pulp Fiction and downed a bottle of wine. I wonder if I could find a job that paid for that kind of thing. haha.

Zed's dead. I am currently in between a health kick and a fatty binge. How can I be in between those you ask? Well, I bought 'good for you' snacks and food; like fish, red wine, dark chocolate/veggies/fish etc. The problem occurs when I drink the entire bottle of wine, and eat a huge bag of Raisinets. Or smother healthy items with sugar or fat. What are you supposed to do when you're not eating, sleeping, or looking for food? If I answer that question all will be well in my life.

"I'ma get mid-evil on your ass." - ha, havn't heard that line since childhood... anyway. Sorry for my boringment. G'nght

Can Die

I don't have anything to say tonight, but I am attempting to stick to my blog-a-night deal with myself. All I learned today is that wearing the color orange creates issues for yourself that could be avoided by choosing other colors. Orange shirts are bad, but orange bottoms are much worse. For example, if you wear orange with a black top you look like a Holloweiner; if you wear it with a white top you looks like you work at Hooters; purple and orange always equal clown; and if you choose any other bright color you create a geye-sore (that means gay eye-sore). The only good neutral color left to try is brown, and we all know brown and orange make poop.


I noticed that Barack kinda looks like a Tootsie roll. Look it up cuz I don't know how to post pictures on blogs yet.

Bullshine

When I originally started this stupid blog, I intended to post something everyday. I soon realized that I am only funny in the wee hours of the morning, closest to passing out, and I only want to be funny in life. I sometimes get 'blogger's block'- a term I tried to shorten to: "block", but that word was already taken so I switched to "bloggock". There are always things to write about, but I wrestle with wasting people's time with my boring stories. But then again, I don't FORCE people to read this, so they can just screw off and suck on my boring-ness.
One day, I 'viewed' my blog over and over again to reach a round number (like 30) on the views counter. I would say that's pretty losery, but I'm sure everyone would do it. Oh, and new neighbors moved in next door, and one of the items I saw them moving in was a giant chandelier. Hahahaha. They have the exact same apt that we do, and I can't imagine where they'd put it. Every time I hear their door opening I RUN to the peep-hole hoping to see a giant chandelier sitting on an end table or propped up against the wall.
I've been trying to stay 'hip' lately by forcing myself to watch horrible... I mean 'new' music videos. My official critique is that the world is about to end. Well,... I hope it does anyway. Not just because so much of it sucks ass, but because everything modern is like a bad copy of something already done before. I started noticing this phenomenon in the 90's, but it's gotten worse. This generation has no great war or great depression... our great war is a spiritual war and our great depression is our lives-- okay, that's from Fight Club but I think it explains why modern music is meaningless and overproduced, and movies are 2 hour unthoughtout special effect reels. I made steak for dinner tonight. And listened to bad music after watching a truly retarded movie. That scenario seems to sum it all up.
This blog turned rambly... oh well Bitches!! For all you know, I could be drunk. Oh, that reminds me... the stuptarded (My word!!!) movie we were watching was on T.V. and therefore free of all it's original vulgarities. The best part of the movie was the dubbed swearing. At one point a guy yelled "That's Bullshit!" but the dubbed voice yelled "That's Bullshine!"
hahaha, what bullshine.